Officials Call Me A Hemorrhoid The Way I Irritate You Assholes White Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee
Officials Call Me A Hemorrhoid The Way I Irritate You Assholes White Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee
Fresh Design, Premium Fabric — Printed Just for You
Not to be dramatic, but this might be the upgrade your wardrobe’s been waiting for. Premium Gildan® fabric, fade-proof DTG print, and a fit that feels like it was made for you.
📸 Mockup is a tee — but we’ve got you covered. This design ships on 4 styles: T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Crewneck & Hoodie. Your call, your style, made just for you.
Here’s Why It’s Worth It
- 🎨 Zero Compromise — Vivid, detailed DTG print. Throw it in the wash — the design isn’t going anywhere.
- 🧵 Comfort-Level: 10/10 — Gildan® blanks with OEKO-TEX certified dyes. Soft on skin, gentle on the planet.
- 👕 Designed for Real Life — Classic silhouette, taped shoulders, itch-free tear-away label. Wear it anywhere.
- 🇺🇸 US Cotton, Real Quality — Proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol. Feel good about what you wear.
Fabric & Construction
- T-Shirt (5.3 oz) & Long Sleeve (6 oz): 100% cotton — airy, comfortable, all-season wear.
- Fleece (Sweatshirt & Hoodie): 8 oz cotton/poly blend — warm, smooth surface, anti-pill finish.
- Sport Grey uses a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for its signature heathered tone.
Pick Your Color & Size
Choose your favorite color and find the perfect fit:
Available Colors
Gildan 5000 — Unisex T-Shirt
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 36 in (91.4 cm) |
| M | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| L | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| 2XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 3XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 4XL | 34 in (86.4 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
Gildan 18000 — Unisex Sweatshirt
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) | 33.5 in (85.09 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) | 34.5 in (87.63 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) | 35.5 in (90.17 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) | 36.5 in (92.71 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) | 37.5 in (95.25 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) | 38.5 in (97.79 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) | 39.5 in (100.33 cm) |
Gildan 18500 — Unisex Hoodie
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) |
Gildan 2400 — Unisex Long Sleeve Tee
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27.95 in (71 cm) | 36.22 in (92 cm) | 33.46 in (85 cm) |
| M | 29.13 in (74 cm) | 40.16 in (102 cm) | 35.04 in (89 cm) |
| L | 29.92 in (76 cm) | 44.09 in (112 cm) | 36.61 in (93 cm) |
| XL | 31.1 in (79 cm) | 48.03 in (122 cm) | 38.19 in (97 cm) |
| 2XL | 31.89 in (81 cm) | 51.97 in (132 cm) | 39.37 in (100 cm) |
| 3XL | 33.07 in (84 cm) | 55.91 in (142 cm) | 39.37 in (100 cm) |
| 4XL | 33.86 in (86 cm) | 59.84 in (152 cm) | 38.98 in (99 cm) |
Tap a style above to view its chart. Measured laid flat.
- Find your color in the chart above.
- Match your measurements to the size guide.
- Add to cart and check out securely.
Shipping Details
- ✅ Crafted in: 1–3 business days.
- 📦 Standard US: 3–7 business days.
- ⚡ Express US: 3–5 business days.
- 🌍 International: 7–14 business days.
Every item is made to order just for you. Please verify your size using the chart above. We can’t accept returns for sizing errors, but we’re always here to help if something isn’t right.
🛒 Explore more designs at primeteelab.com — quality you can count on.